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We all have 'em.
Families that would rather do a million other things
than...
- clean the garage.
- do their homework.
- make their beds.
- walk the dog.
- practice their musical instrument.
- do the dishes.
- put their clothes away.
- scoop out the litter box.
- hang up their coats (or towels).
Get the picture?
If you're tired of nagging, begging and even pleading
to get your family members to help out around your home,
listen up. There's a better way to get the cooperation
you want.
- Help them see the benefits.
Everybody likes to eat but no one likes to clean up?
Well, when ONLY those who work, eat, suddenly work looks
much more appealing.
- Negotiate.
Teens and adults definitely like to have a say in their
environments. If someone truly detests a chore, it's
a reasonable thing to arrange a swap with someone else.
Bottom line? There is work to be done and everyone must
pull his or her own weight.
- Put them in charge.
Assign age-appropriate tasks to family members and then
let them fail...naturally. Consequences are an important
part of life and when we inappropriately shield our
kids
from those consequences, we can be doing them a disservice.
If it's 14-year old Johnny's turn to fix dinner tonight
and he 'forgets', the whole family will be knocking
at his door, complaining. The key here is to not give
in and call for pizza! Unless someone's ill, missing
a meal will not hurt anyone. Or, serve bread and water
as the replacement meal. Chances are, Johnny will not
forget again.
- Modeling.
If the adults in the household are balking at doing
their part, it will be virtually impossible to get the
kids to fall in line. Healthy households are managed
from the top (adults) down, which means the adults must
be mature enough to assume the leadership roles meant
for them. If
you have a spouse who doesn't believe s/he should pitch
in, try the practical approach. Suggest exchanging favors
with each other. You'll do something to free him/her
up if s/he will agree to promote more helpfulness around
the house.
- Teamwork.
This is my favorite idea because it puts smiles on faces
and everyone wins. Whatever the task, do it together.
As parents, our children crave our attention and time
spent cleaning the bathroom, making dinner, and folding
clothes are genuine relationship-building moments. Smart
families know that if you start the teamwork at a young
age (preschool), over time you'll develop young adults
that will listen to and respect you as parents, are
more responsible in general, know how to work in a group
and will be competent in many of life's daily tasks
when
they leave the nest.
- Play regularly.
A solid way to get kids involved around the house is
to teach that if we are going to work hard, we are definitely
going to play hard. Plan out those fun times and put
them on your schedule, just like the other important
events in your life. If your kids learn you are serious
about playing hard regularly and that it's tied to taking
care of everyday responsibilities, they will learn to
cooperate fast.
Wonder if these ideas can work? Try them. Pick one or
two you like and customize them to fit your unique family.
Plan a strategy that will make things better around your
home. Practice your plans awhile and make adjustments
as you go. Your leadership and involvement
is key in getting your troop working together like the
family team they were meant to be! |
